silence.

not a single tear i've shed since i walked off from him. don't be sad for that cause i believed the person you love will never make you cry. no matter how painful it was, i believe you are not a jerk who will make me cry. the love that i have for you will only be for you.


friends didn't believe that i am not going out with anyone. i'm officially quitting the dating game. it is either you or no one else, that is the deal i made.


an excerpt from 'If you could see me now',

"her hopes were raised up the flagpole, waving and blowing in the breeze for all to see. there they would weather the storms and winds, only to be lowered, tattered and ruined.

just because they “appear” to emerge from the same point doesn't mean that they do. this is an illusion of perspective created by distance. everyone moves in different directions. that we all emerge from the same point is a misconception; to travel in different directions is the very nature of every being and every existing thing.

when you drop a glass or a plate to the ground it makes a loud crashing sound. when a window shatters, a table breaks, or when a picture falls off the wall it makes noise. but as for your heart, when that breaks, it's completely silent. you would think its so important it would make the loudest noise in the whole wide world, or even have some sort of ceremonious sound like the gong of a cymbal or the ringing of a bell. But it's silent and you almost wish there was a noise to distract you from the pain.

if there is a noise, it's internal. it screams and no one can hear it but you. it screams so loud your ears ring and your head aches. it thrashes around in your chest like a great white shark caught in the sea; it roars like a mother bear whose cub has been taken. that's what it looks like and that's what it sounds like, a thrashing, panicking, trapped great big beast, roaring like a prisoner to its own emotions.

but that's the thing about love – no one is untouchable. it's as wild as that, as raw as an open flesh wound exposed to salty sea water, but when it actually breaks, its silent. you're just screaming on the inside and no one can hear it."

i'm upset but it doesn't matter. i shall observe.

silence is not golden, afterall.

imissyou, badly.