imaginary.

dear friend,

i'm just a figment of your imagination. you came into the wonderland of escapism. i was there when you needed someone to talk to. i happened to appear when you were sad. we had fun, we had joy and we had seasons in the sun. i knew from the start you aren't someone i should fall in love with. you were an illusion of perspective created by distance. we moved in different direction, eventually.


seeing now that you're alright, dear friend, i shall go just like how i came.



sincerely,
your imaginary friend.

retracted.

bad news from last week will be retracted today. looks like things will go your way afterall! -horoscope.

p.s i love you

decipher.

look on the bright side. even if you didn't get exactly what you wanted, you still got alot. -horro-scope.

and what is this suppose to mean?

p.s i still do love you.

killing.

i'm still alive but i'm barely breathing, dear.

killing me softly with his actions.

p.s i love you

hunch.

things are not as they seem. you'll find out today why you had a hunch something is off. - gemini horro-scope.

you thought you had given someone their last chance, but here they are, begging for more. - pisces horro-scope.

tell me about it.

excessive.

time check : 0433hrs

excessively thinking of him.

p.s i love you.

someone.

the hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else.

hindsight.

the bottom line
you get farther with someone if you tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

in detail
if you are working on building a better love relationship, you have to commit yourself to being honest. it's not like you tell untruths on a regular basis, but from time to time you have told little white lies, thinking you are protecting someone. but that's not your call. and from now on, you will get a lot farther with someone if you tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. when you make choices out of fear, you usually make the wrong choices. share your feelings in an unedited way.

well, this is the valentine's day present from my horoscope. i HAD always been truthful. unedited story and feelings. on hindsight, wouldn't it better if i had lied to him instead? keeping my feelings and be oblivious to hints, at least we don't even have to start anything. we would be just like how we had been before 13.12.2008. not having any regrets but at least it would have saved us from any awkwardness.

well, they say, love make you do silly things.

brief.

i was bestowed upon me two guardian angels. both had their heart broken. unfortunately, i fallen for the one who is still badly wounded. i felt loved for a brief moment. a moment i treasure every minute of. am grateful for reigniting the feeling of love in me.

when he left, i thought he would close the door behind him. i shall not close the doors yet. cause i'm waiting for him to return, either to close the door or place the last piece of puzzle where it should be. i'm refusing to let go and move on. if i have to, i do not want to move on, alone.

fate is still fixing his puzzle.

emptiness.

dear God,
for the second time fate messed up the puzzle pieces. he fits nicely in the puzzle but fate doesn't think so. fate took apart the puzzle and left a gaping hole there. and there isn't anymore pieces left. he had left with that last piece.

fate, it is time you resign from fixing my puzzle. cause you won't be able to find a piece to fit into the gaping hole.

and, i shall frame up the drawing that i drew when i was in reality. that was the last beautiful drawing i did and that was also the last page i had.

puzzle.

dear God,
i thank you for letting me feel a tinge of loving someone. but i guess you had forgotten to make him feel the same way too. memories of the past are still lingering like an overstayer.

fate is playing a funny game but i don't find it funny anymore. fate should be busy right now, putting puzzle pieces together before going around and messing up people's partner. fate had made me shed tears more than i had shed for you, dear God. i had my plans but fate had to ruin it all. you made us with the feeling to love. but i guess those feelings are for those who deserves and know how to appreciate.

karma had worked enough on me. you made me fall for someone worthless before i met farid. but i wasn't ready to give him up. eventually, fate made me see the whole picture but a few missing puzzle pieces. i liked what i saw. i loved him. we had great times together. but, fate had to take four and a half years to find the missing puzzle pieces. when fate put it all together, he found that it wasn't me who is suppose to be in the picture. well, all's forgotten and forgiven.

fate realised that he haven't done my puzzle just yet. so, here i am waiting for more than a year while fate fixes someones puzzle. fate notices that i am a part of this person's puzzle. fate continued to fixed his and my puzzle simultaneously. fate stopped a moment. something is wrong with his puzzle. the girl in his puzzle isn't suppose to be there. she was suppose to be with someone else. so, fate took the puzzle pieces apart, leaving a gaping hole there.

fate is still fixing the puzzle. but will my puzzle pieces fit the gaping hole or is it still her puzzle pieces will fit nicely in there?

sketches.

when we first met, i was still sketching a picture of someone else. he was just a fantasy. he lives in my wonderland. eventually, there was this strong urge to get back to reality. took a stroll back to reality cause i hate leaving my wonderland where i know i won't get hurt.

there in reality, i saw him. he was sketching too, it was unclear to me what was on his easel. i sat next to him, sketching the same scenery. but, i was self-indulgent, i started to draw a picture more beautiful than what's in front of me. him, was still a sketch.

here i am, staring at the beautiful picture i've drawn.

should i wait for him to finish his sketching or should i tear away my drawing and do another sketch and reminding myself to draw reality?