myself.

was reading a colum in cleo, it kinda of hit a raw nerve. its a write-up i can relate closely. the colum is about "date yourself for a while". the reason i can relate to what the writer said is beacuse it's the post-breakup kinda of guide. i'm just gonna quote some stuff she wrote.

for 4 years life was evolved around him. then, i didn't have to share my space with anyone. it was awkward at first, being alone.

"then something else struck me. so much of life outside work was filled with things i didn't really enjoy doing. surely, that needed to change - but how? i'd been busy pleasing everyone else, i wasn't really sure what made me happy."
it occured to me, how i have always keep myself busy with work even after working hours. and i totally don't enjoy filling my time with work and more work. what really make me happy? i'm unable to answer.

"...getting to know yourself is a constant work in progress."

"it takes time to discover who you are, what you are, what you're going to be and what you want. and to say 'i don't know' is a perfectly fine answer." -phew!

"... we don't actually stop to go over what's happen and make plans for the future. if you're always on the go, you don't have time to think. dating yourself is a fantastic opportunity to do just that."
in fact, before reading this colum, i have thought of what had happened and made plans for the future.

"coming out of a long-term relationship or a string of relationships, it's almos certain you'll be asking yourself a few questions namely: why was i in this relationship? why didn't i realise that was going on? why didn't he want to be with me? cooke (an author of girl stuff) believes that in order to learn, we need to see this as an opportunity, rather than a knock to the self-esteem"
i asked those question after the break-up but like they say, truth hurts. after knowing the truth, my self-esteem did not it rock bottom, luckily.

"... it really is almost impossible to get to know yourself when you're in one. " "... because we change our personality to fit our partner's."
very very true. i lost myself, not knowing who i was.

"the problem with going from singledom to coupledom is that we often drop the things we love - freinds, hobbies, workouts - to fit with the new schedule."
"before long it's become a habit. you can actually start to forget the things you used to love doing because you've substituted them with new coupley things. it's a recipe for disaster when you break up and look around to see that your support network has all but fizzled away."
i'm pretty lucky to have mummy for support and girlfren though she runs me down most times. and i won't forget, thanks!

"... we want strong communication, emotional intelligence and a few laughs. we want someone who can support us in our busy, thriving lives."
definitely some of the important qualities in a guy i'm looking for. someone who can accept that we can't always meet, someone who understands my busy schedule and can accept that i'm obsses with my career.

to end of the colum she wrote "a real relationship, whether it's with a friend or a lover, is about finding someone who brings out the best in you, enjoys the best in you and loves you for the things that you love."