hoping.

who am i kidding saying i'm busy with work and studies? who am i kidding saying i'm too busy to date? all i'm doing is kidding myself. it is a joke God is playing on me. laughing out loud, dear God. it is a funny joke! truth behold, i'm still hoping against hope. waiting. wishing upon the shooting stars. doing all what i don't believe in. all, but telling him how much i still want him back in my life. telling him just how much i'm still in love with him. every morning, hoping there would be a window seat, just so i could catch a glimpse of you at the bus stop. again, i'm hoping against hope. and wishing upon the shooting stars. just one thing which never had occurred to me, GIVE UP!! kill all the feelings of love and missing him. what he is worth for anyway? in which part of his anatomy would i even co-exists? NONE.

deleting all those jerks number off, stop meeting people and let work keep me sane. a joke on myself. this isn't me. this is NOT me.

just what was i thinking? not dating. not meeting new people. all i'm doing is waiting. and waiting for you.

you're a thing from the past, collecting dust in the attic. that is where you should be placed.