turmoil.

there are two kind of worlds: one we dream about and the real one. how does one differentiate when both worlds seemed surreal? when one dreams, one hope for the dream to come true. when the real world is harsh, one falls back into dreams.

the future with you is what i dream. what i am having with you now, all seem surreal. you told me that i'm single but unavailable and you tell me you want me. you got me confuse.

but darling, i got you figured out. tell me what differs you from the others??! all they want is every part of me except for one, my heart. the same theory can be applied for you.

you put me through the roller coaster of feelings. you made me feel high for you and you can make me detest you the most. stop all the games you are playing. i'm tired. you have the right to be text-ing any girls you want, date whoever you love but stop putting me through this turmoil.

just what did i do to deserve the hot-cold treatment from you??

i'm so shagged, all i want to do is momentarily disappearing from the surface of the earth.

dear God, please give me the strength to pull through this ordeal. i need to get over him. he shall not have a hold of me. i need to get a move on with my life.

hoping.

who am i kidding saying i'm busy with work and studies? who am i kidding saying i'm too busy to date? all i'm doing is kidding myself. it is a joke God is playing on me. laughing out loud, dear God. it is a funny joke! truth behold, i'm still hoping against hope. waiting. wishing upon the shooting stars. doing all what i don't believe in. all, but telling him how much i still want him back in my life. telling him just how much i'm still in love with him. every morning, hoping there would be a window seat, just so i could catch a glimpse of you at the bus stop. again, i'm hoping against hope. and wishing upon the shooting stars. just one thing which never had occurred to me, GIVE UP!! kill all the feelings of love and missing him. what he is worth for anyway? in which part of his anatomy would i even co-exists? NONE.

deleting all those jerks number off, stop meeting people and let work keep me sane. a joke on myself. this isn't me. this is NOT me.

just what was i thinking? not dating. not meeting new people. all i'm doing is waiting. and waiting for you.

you're a thing from the past, collecting dust in the attic. that is where you should be placed.