delusion.

her boyfriend know nuts about her. i told her to leave him cause he isn't into her. he do not even bother to take initiative and put in any effort in knowing her. one fine day, he will leave her and before he does that, i told her to leave him.
she asked me, "then why are you not leaving him?"

it is tiring being with someone but at every moment when the feeling of missing him arises, it has to be diverted to something else. for a moment, delusion was needed.

she is ready to COMMIT as soon as she meet the RIGHT person. she is very SERIOUS about relationships and AREN'T interested in wasting time with people she DON'T really LIKE. if she meet the right person, she will fall DEEPLY and BEAUTIFULLY in love.

even if he is the RIGHT person, are you to him?

again, i had to supress my feelings until i'm conviced. i'm holding back what i've got for you. i'm sorry, i just had to. jumping off the cliff and into a bottomless pit again, i have doubts about surviving the second fall.

clueless.

people come into your life for a REASON, a SEASON or a LIFETIME. when you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

when someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. they have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. they may seem like a godsend and they are. they are there for the reason you need them to be.
then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. sometimes they die. sometimes they walk away. sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
what we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled,their work is done. the prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. they bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. they may teach you something you have never done. they usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. believe it, it is real. but only for a season .

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. it is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

thank you people for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.


dear God, i thank you for letting our paths meet at the crossroads. where we would be heading, i'm still unsure, whether in the same direction or opposite. clueless, i am to his stand.
and i pray hard, dear God, he isn't in my life for a season or a reason. as scared as i felt to fall in love with someone, i eventually did.

but, was it a mistake to tell him how i felt for him?

mask.

you are the extreme opposite to an action woman: you are sweet, you love pink and glitter. everyone who sees you sees a totally and perfect styled little girl - daddy's little girl maybe. boys are drawn to you automatically. but they have no respect. they play with you. it's hard for you to find a boy who is willing to risk a serious relationship. you have a lot of friends, but most of them are girls just like you. you also have a lot of shallow contact. maybe you are very dependent on your parents. you are always so squeaky and happy and lovely when others are near - but that's only a mask. a mask that covers all your sadness, desperation and self-doubt. one day you will make someone very happy, but untill then you have to learn to love yourself and be the person you are supposed to be.

took a 'what type of girl are you?' survey on facebook. 80% of what it said about me is true. defnitely i'm not a daddy's girl. having lots of friends, yes i do. but most are boys and girls are not like me. my girlfriends have a personality of their own, which i adore.

it's hard for you to find a boy who is willing to risk a serious relationship. now, i wonder. how much do i really mean to that someone?
one day you will make someone happy. but is that someone going to make me happy too?

unrequited.

it's almost a month i'm with him. i would say, we are still in the honeymoon period. during these period, i had told him 'i love you' but he have not recipocrate those feelings. as much as i want to tell him again, i have to hold back. i have yet to establish if this is a walk in the park or a plunge into a bottomless pit.

patience is virtue. since time is what you need, you shall have time then.