heart.

.....said the heart,

even though i complain sometimes, its because i'm the heart of a person and people's heart are that way. people are afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because they feel that they don't deserve them or that they'll be unable to achieve them.

we, their hearts, become fearful just thinking of loved ones who go away forever or moments that could have been good but weren't or of treasures that might have been found but were forever hidden in the sands. because when these things happen we suffer terribly.

phlegmatic.

i hate what i felt when i was with you. i seek temporary solace in others when you're clearly in front of me. all seem awkward. as much as i would love to be the chatty me, i had to hold back. the atmosphere was so different. it was a happy song, you said. but, at that moment, i felt like happiness had left. i didn't enjoy the song as much. i got myself confuse for a while.

when i was listening a sad song by James Ingram- just once, i didn't feel sad. i even felt that the night had a beautiful ending. the person i was with is a great company.

probably, there is still that little bit of hope i'm having deep inside me. i had to tell you 'goodbye' and not 'see you around'. i made a mess of my own thoughts.

the conclusion, i'm crazy to still have any feelings for you.

redundant.

there was this feeling that was ignited when i read the messages i sent to you via msn and hp. i am missing you. need i mention name? the whole lot of topics that we talked about, somethings which i had shared with you but, what a pity, those info are just redundant to you. i was the rule of your game, never the exception.

you didn't want the friendship to go to waste but, ever since, i never hear from you again. you might have hurt me when you told me about the story of a girl, it was a blunder on your part. and a cover up for me, about the story of those guys.

well, i don't see the point of this post. like someone would tell me, "you think he bothers reading your blog?"

loneliness.

dear God, this empty gaping hole in my heart is still waiting for someone to fill them up. i'm tired of this dating game. of the several guys i dated, i still feel the loneliness and emptiness inside me. i want someone who listens to me like a girlfriend would. and at the same time, someone who loves me with all the love he have.

what you gave me was two total jerks. one didn't feel secured being with me. and the other "didn't want to hurt me" cause he can't love me but kissed another in less than a month. what ever happen to real man who sheds tears and meant it. grieving for the loss your ex-girlfriend while dating an innocent by-stander, how is that being sad and grieving?

dear God, what have you made them to be?

you had given me too many wrong guys, is the right one on his way or you haven't decide who is eligible to reside in my lonely heart.

work is still the best escapade for the lonely hearts